


Why God, and his own cape, hate Billy Kaplan

by William_Magnus



Category: Marvel (Comics), Young Avengers
Genre: Hot Cape on Cape action, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I still can't belive I wrote this, I wrote this a while ago, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 02:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/William_Magnus/pseuds/William_Magnus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title says most of it.  Warning, hot cape on cape action and emberassment galore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why God, and his own cape, hate Billy Kaplan

**Author's Note:**

> Do not read if the fictionalized acounts of clothing sharing taboo relationships with others of thier kind or major age difference bother you.

"God hates me."

"No he does not."

"Yes he does, I have absolute proof he does. There I was, surrounded by the most famous and powerful mages on the planet and...and...I can't even think about let alone say what happened out loud."

"Billy, just take deep breaths, it can't have been that bad. Just start at the beginning and go through the whole thing slowly."

"Fine, fine. It started a few weeks ago when I got the letter...."

 

 

It was cold, not the dead of winter snow up to your waist cold, but the summer just ended and before you can put on any warm jackets your getting arctic winds cold. I had just picked up some of the fabric that we were going to use to make Halloween costumes for my little brothers when it hit me in the face. It was a red card envelope with a stylized image of the Eye of Agamotto on the front and my name on the back. 

I was so scared I almost dropped everything I was carrying into a puddle when I realized what was on the envelope. I could hardly think as I ducked into an alley to just teleport myself home so I could open the thing where no one would see in cause it did something like release an illusion or just start yelling at me.

It was an invite, white vellum paper with gold ink, to some kind of magical summit. It said it was sent to the most powerful mages on Earth both in terms of skill and raw power. I think I read that part of it a few hundred times...after I came too.

When the time came I had on my costume, and did everything that the card said to and...Bamf! Next thing I knew I was standing in the middle of the tackiest most god awfully decorated room on the planet. I swear, a blind straight man would be able to tell that the colors on cushions and drapes and the carpet did not belong in the same house, let alone the same room. I was still reeling from the sheer horror at the decor when Wong came in to led me to where people were already gathering since it was the first time I had been there.

I .. I still don't get why I was there. I mean, Doctor Strange had gathered every heavy hitter in the magic community I could name, and then some. Everyone from Damien Hellstorm to Satana, I even could hear Doctor Doom booming off on the other side of the room about Mister Fantastic while talking with Brother Voodoo and Doctor Druid. 

It was about then that Wong announced me...and the whole room went quiet. I swear, you could have heard a pin drop in another room. There I was, the youngest, least trained, and least known person in the room and every single one of them was staring at me like I was some 8 year old that stood up in the middle of a crowded restaurant and announced something supremely embarrassing. 

What?!? I know that look...ok fine yes it happened to me, no it was my brother that said it, and yes that is the story of how I came out of the closet and why I refuse to go to the Chinese place around the corner. You happy? Good, now can I get on with my story?

Where was I, oh yeah. There was a full three minutes of complete silence before the lot of them as one seemed to shrug and go back to what they were doing. I really don't know what was worse, the intense scrutiny or the almost dismissal at the end of it. 

It was not long after that that Doctor Strange finally showed up, he talked about the nature of magic and everything unraveling and...and went into stuff I had a really hard time following. Everyone in the room it seems had something to add, some point to argue, or theory except for me. 

Someone, I think it was Magik the one that used to date Nightcrawler of the X-Men, suggested we do a big group spell, all of us working together scrying to see if we could figure out what was going on. It was kind of a cool idea, get those with the skills to steer and the rest of us just behind pushing. Everyone that had capes just dropped them off to the side draped over couches or tables and we all got in sort of...I can't really describe it but everyone ended up sitting in some pattern facing different ways that I know had some mystic significance I had no clue about...at least that was the idea but I apparently am the only one who had no idea where I was supposed to go so everyone ended up getting into position while I stood there like a moron. Eventually an old woman that kind of reminded me of my Babba Kaplan told me where I was supposed to go while just about everyone else just stared at me again.

At first it went ok, but then my cape started to feel odd. for the first time since I started wearing it, it was like it was not sitting right, I tried my best to adjust it while keeping concentration on the spell and what I was chanting with everyone else. Then it felt like it was being tugged, pulled on by something, and the next thing I know...I was falling over backwards as it was pulled right off me. The whole spell fell apart right them. It was lucky the three Doctors, Strange Doom and Druid, had found what they were looking for just before that...but that bit of news was no help to me. 

I was flat on my back, my shirt half pulled off, my cape missing and legs straight up in the air with every single mage in the room once more looking at the idiot child that thought he could join them. When we eventually broke apart to do our bits to fix what was going wrong they had me working with Magik and the older lady, who it turns out was Agatha Harkness yes that Agatha Harkness, cause they both had a lot of experience and knew how to teach and I had raw power going for me. 

One everything was fixed people went about getting their things, catching up on shop talk and that kind of thing, I went looking for my cape. I could not find it anywhere in the areas that were not marked off limits till I heard his voice. "Is this Yours?"

I turned around and there, in the middle of everyone was Doctor Strange holding up /The/ Cape of Levitation and there was my cape wrapped around the thing. I...it took the most embarrassing minute of my life to try and pry the two of them apart. 

"So that’s why when I asked about you not wearing the cape..."

"Yes."

"You know..."

"Don't."

"I was only..."

"Just don't. I love you Teddy, I do, but i swear if you bring up the whole cape is alive thing, or say I told you so I promise I will teleport you right into the middle of the Women's Locker room in the Avengers tower and never ever ever speak to you again."

"ok, ok, I promise. I will not say. I did, but I won't say it."

"..."

"Billy? Billy? You’re scaring me...say something."

*Zzzzz* *Bamf!*

"Um...Agent Carter...um...hi?"


End file.
